100 Ways to Annoy Germany
by LordofAmus
Summary: A list of 100 ways to annoy Ludwig. See my profile for 100 Ways to Annoy England. Please R&R


100 Ways to Annoy Germany

1. Call him a 'potato eater.'

2. Give Italy a Monster or other energy drink and unleash the power onto Germany.

3. Give excessive hugs.

4. Give him a dirty magazine.

5. Dance around like a ballerina.

6. Ask if he copied off of Belgium's flag for his own.

7. Give him a small sausage and say it's the life size replica of his manhood.

8. Tell him that Germany backwards sounds Jamaican.

9. Harass Italy repeatedly. Most effective with more than one person.

10. Tell him how much you admired the Italian military before he destroyed it.

11. Pee in his beer.

12. Hire a bunch of pretty girls to lap dance on him. When Italy gets upset, have the girls leave Germany to go with Italy and watch the jealousy.

13. Team up with Gilbert and/or the Bad Touch Trio (preferably Bad Touch Trio) and unleash the power.

14. Lock him in a room with Russia.

15. Stare at him for as long as possible. When he asks what your staring about twitch your eye.

16. Poke him repeatedly preferably in facial areas like the cheek or the forehead. To achieve maximum irritation, use a pen so every time you poke him it makes a clicky noise.

17. Pretend to be a moose.

18. Put on James Bond music and roll around and do flips.

19. Dress all in black and follow him around during the day light (Daylight is key). When he turns around, hide behind a narrow tree of a pole.

20. Make a gun with your finger and pretend to shoot him while yelling 'Pew!' in a high pitched voice.

21. Sing like Alvin and the Chipmunks.

22. Randomly shout "LAND HOE!".

23. Whenever you fart, start singing "Ops I did it again."

24. Grunt whenever you walk.

25. Spill water on his pants and start yelling out he peed himself "AGAIN!"

26. Eat a leaf.

27. Stick a condom in his jacket pocket and write "From Italy" on a slip of paper and attach it to the condom.

28. Make sure the condom is an extra small.

29. Ask him what gender he is.

30. When he says he's a male, look amazed and comment about his big boobs.

31. Start having an intelligent conversation and at a really import part, go off track and start talking about something random.

32. Start singing Sweeney Todd whenever he eats some sausage.

33. Randomly say "Oh Yeah!" in a deep voice.

34. Draw mustaches on all his pictures.

35. Ask to use his bathroom. Once you have gained access, be sure to make loud noises. When you come out, be sure to brag about how big and stinky it was.

36. Randomly kiss his cheek and skip away singing "I Kissed a Girl."

37. Put a fake pile of poop on the floor.

38. Put a real pile of poop on the floor.

39. Sing "Milkshakes" and start touching his chest.

40. Gasp at everything he says.

41. Tell him it's not his fault. When he questions what you're saying, start yelling very loudly that it's not his fault and to 'stop it'.

42. Tell him Italy is pregnant…and it's his child.

43. Tell him Italy is pregnant and that it isn't his child.

44. Have Italy wear a bra on his head.

45. Whenever he is eating, start making noises like your throwing up or start talking about gore.

46. Repeat his name over and over.

47. No matter what you're talking about, yell constantly.

48. Pretend to have a headache. When he asks what's wrong, say you still had a hangover from their 'sausage fest' the previous night. If he doesn't ask what's wrong, start screaming at him for being so bad.

49. Start singing "German Sparkle Party."

50. Whisper something bad about Italy that will get him really mad in a public place. When he yells at you, play innocent and start crying so it makes him look bad.

51. When he says your name, gasp really loud and ask him how he knows your name and call him a stalker.

52. Make random beeping noises.

53. Talk in a really deep/high pitched voice.

54. Team up with Romano. Stand on one side of him while Romano stands on the other side. Yell at him while hitting and smacking him.

55. Sing "Hips Don't Lie" and shake your hips.

56. Pretend to be a super hero and strike random poses.

57. Ask if he likes tops or bottoms. When he freaks out, pretend to be innocent and say you were just talking about bunk beds.

58. Pretend to be a submarine.

59. When he eats a sandwich start crying about the poor, ugly end piece that everyone avoids.

60. Whenever you walk, pretend to be a pony and say you were practicing for your rodeo with Poland.

61. When he gets mad at you, tell him that there are pills to help him balance his hormones.

62. Whenever he drinks beer start to sing "BEER!" by Sycostick.

63. Say that the German language sounds like a cat puking up a fur ball.

64. Ask him where Candy Mountain is. When he says there is no Candy Mountain, start crying.

65. Tell him Italy is in love with Gilbert.

66. Ask him why the Hetalia movie is called Paint It White. Proceed to ask if it has something to do with an intimate body reaction.

67. Call him at 1 AM and loudly cry about a monster under his bed and ask him to come over. If he hangs up, call repeatedly.

68. Break into his house and hide in his closet.

69. Do the 'pee pee dance' during a meeting.

70. Be sure to interrupt when he's talking during a meeting to use the bathroom.

71. During a meeting, admire the birds outside the window.

72. Whenever he starts talking, scream 'LIES' and start crying hysterically.

73. Tell him that you are his father and breathe like Darth Vader.

74. Pimp yourself like a ganster and start calling him 'home dawg' and 'homie Gee'.

75. Shout 'Foshizzal!'

76. Talk like Scarface.

77. Ask him to get you a glass of water. If he refuses, scream until he gets you a glass.

78. Once you get the glass of water, yell at him and say you asked for something else.

79. Wink at him.

80. Roll down the window of your car and wave to everyone who drives by.

81. Start singing commercials.

82. Laugh at anything he says.

83. When he falls asleep, draw inappropriate things on his face.

84. Learn a Mindless Self Indulgence song and/or say to him "Excuse me, do you want to screw."

85. Yell about a bat being in your garage. When he goes in there, hide behind him and point to a baseball bat.

86. Pretend to be a snow man.

87. Start banging around on a piano and say you're Mozart.

88. Act drunk and hang all over him.

89. Stare at him really close to his face.

90. Whenever he eats a potato, start making small crying noises as if the potato is crying.

91. Count on your fingers.

92. Walk backwards.

93. Go up the down escalator.

94. Play screamo or metal really loud around a bunch of people.

95. Make a bunch of weird faces.

96. Laugh at anything.

97. Start every sentence with 'Yo'.

98. When you laugh, laugh like a weirdo.

99. Leave 100 blank.

100.


End file.
